MARRIED WITH BAGGAGE:
THRIVING IN REMARRIAGE WITH CHILDREN
ABOUT MARRIED WITH BAGGAGE:
Here comes the bride, the groom, her kids, his kids, her pets, his pets, her ex spouse, his ex spouse, her extended family, his extended family, etc. etc. In other words: HERE COMES THE BAGGAGE!
Many in remarriage with children find themselves saying:
--"I had no idea it would be this hard!"
--"Am I really supposed to love his/her children?"
--"What does being a step-parent mean? Do I really parent a child who isn't mine?"
--"Why am I being treated like I am the spawn of Satan?"
--"I feel torn between my children and my spouse."
--"How do we figure out finances?"
--"How much contact do we have to have with the exes?"
--"I've lost all sense of privacy. What do I do?"
--”Just because I don’t have kids, doesn’t mean I don’t have a valid opinion.”
--"My marriage has been swallowed up by these kids and ex-spouses. Help!"
Mary T. Kelly, M.A. is a psychotherapist, family and divorce mediator, certified life coach, and author who helps many in remarriage address these concerns and more. Mary is a contributing writer for Stepmom Magazine and Wednesday Martin’s blog, “Stepmonster”. Martin wrote the ground breaking and go-to book on the realities of stepfamilies, “Stepmonster”. Mary has been working with couples in remarriage for over a decade.
This site is designed to offer all of you who are navigating your way through the maze of combining families while creating a fulfilling and solid marriage, hope and help along the often times chaotic way.
When Mary thinks of “family values”, she thinks of those who are brave enough and optimistic enough to give marriage another try. Those of you in remarriage know that this is not for the faint of heart!
Some of you have come to this site and have not yet remarried, but are considering it. You are divorced with children, you may or may not be dating someone who also has children, or doesn’t, or you may be dating someone with children. The resources offered in this site can be helpful to you as well.
Let’s look at some statistics:
43-50% of all first marriages will eventually end in divorce.
About 80% of divorced persons eventually remarry.
About 43% of all marriages are remarriages for at least one of the adults.
About 65% of remarriages involve children from the prior marriage, thus forming stepfamilies.
71-74% of all second marriages with children eventually end in divorce.
NOW THE GOOD NEWS:
There is a way to find the richness in the messiness and not only survive divorce and remarriage but thrive in it. Mary works with stepcouples face-to-face, offers 1-2 day intensives, and works with couples throughout the country via Skype. Mary also offers telephone coaching.
While the divorce statistics are daunting, there is a reason for them. The myth of the “blended family”, the demands to love children who are not your own, the difficult transitions children must make between two homes, the “evil stepmother” stereotype, the invasive ex-spouses...all conspire to create problems for the couple in remarriage.
You do not need to be a negative statistic! Mary has helped hundreds of stepcouples stay in their marriages, shed unrealistic expectations and learn to focus on the marriage, despite the often overwhelming demands inherent in stepfamilies.
Contact Mary T. Kelly to set up a complimentary 15 minute telephone appointment.
“THE SECOND MARRIAGE IS THE TRIUMPH OF HOPE OVER EXPERIENCE.”
Samuel Johnson
Click Below to Hear This:
Practical Stepmom Tips with Wednesday Martin and Mary T. Kelly
Stepmom's Toolbox
Date / Time: 4/19/2010 6:00 PM
Category: Women
Call-in Number: (347) 843-4229
Stepmothering got you down? Sad, depressed, angry, resentful? Ever get the feeling you lost you and want to find that happy person you used to be? Join Peggy Nolan and Erin Erickson as we dish tips, tools and advice with Wednesday Martin, author of Stepmonster, and Mary T. Kelly of Married With Baggage!
Mary T. Kelly, M.A.
*NEW* STEPCOUPLE SUPPORT GROUP
February 8, 2012 6:00-9:00 PM
Boulder, Colorado $30/couple
Click here to RSVP
